Elisabeth Grover

Month: November 2016

Peace, Solitude and Silence – My Life Companions.

Hi Everyone,

I had an inspiring meeting with a group of wonderful like-minded women this week which helped me to think about the important things in my life.  I am going to be combining  the insights that I received from that meeting, with an exciting  vision-board workshop today in order to reflect upon my life’s values.

Creating space for the important things is a must but it can be difficult to commit to giving them the space that they require. I often find that I am reacting to things rather than taking a few steps back and looking at the bigger picture.

I’m sure that some of you feel the same as me.

Writing the series about living your values has really helped me to ‘practice what I preach’ and focus on what is important to me. I thought I would share three of my top values with you.


I couldn’t write a piece about my values without including peace but what does this actually mean to me?

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”

~ Unknown

Such a lovely quote and one that resonates a great deal. It can be difficult to implement but it’s really healing to your spirit when you get to a point when other people don’t affect you so much.

Another one I love is:

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart”

~ Unknown

This one clarifies the issue a little more. Life is messy and noisy and it’s great to feel that inner peace is achievable in the maelstrom.

I find this quote motivating as it means that inner peace is more achievable. Not everyone has a cave to hide in with blankets and candles!


As an only child growing up in middle-of-nowhere Cumbria, I have always found value in solitude. The world can be such a busy, noisy place, much suited to the extrovert but it’s a long way from my comfort zone.

As I’ve grown older, I find that solitude has become more and more important to me.  The joy of being alone and in a quiet space is wonderful.

The quieter you become, the more you can hear”

~ Ram Dass

I can appreciate that it’s difficult to find alone-time when you have a baby or a young family, looking for your full attention.

My advice is that you set an intention at the beginning of the day and then plan your day around that intention. Sometimes, those times appear but you are so busy that you miss them.

By being more present in your life, you may find those wonderful gems of silence and solitude.

You may want retreat to the bathroom when your partner gets home at night. Perhaps you can burn some aromatherapy candles (I stock the beautiful Heartwood Candles in The Sanctuary) and put a few dops of oils in your bath. See my post on aromatherapy oils for some favourites.

Dim the lights and float in the warm, healing water while you let the thoughts run through your head. Don’t judge your thoughts, just label them and let them flow. Bliss…..


The three values go hand in hand and I love the feelings that these three words invoke.

I find so many answers in those wonderful silent moments. I get up at 5am so that I can find a space in my house where there is no noise except the ticking clock and the creaking sounds in the house.

Although I have described peace as something that can be found in the busyness of daily life, a great quote for those with young people in the house, I prefer the peace and calm that I find in silence and solitude.

“Time and silence are the most luxurious things today”

~Tom Ford

I hope you have enjoyed this post and it has given you something to reflect upon this Sunday morning. I thought it may be valuable for me to offer you an insight into the books that I read, ones that I find really valuable in my life’s journey.

This week’s book is:

Quiet by Susan Cain

I love her website too so check out the other pages. Her TED talk is a must!

I’d love to hear about your top three values so come and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation. I’ll put a post up there about the My Three Lovely Life Companions so check it out and I’ll see you next Sunday

Liz x



Living your Values – Conclusion

Our final post of this series so I’m just checking in with you at the end of the process.

Have you created your Wheel of Life?

Is it computer generated or hand drawn?

I love to paint so I’m going to create a circular image and watercolour the slices. I will make it large enough to be able to put it on my desk as a visual reminder of all the parts of my life that I am thinking about.

Have you used my examples of ‘Life Slices’
have you adapted and used your own?

Which one have you worked on this week?

I have been working on my financial side and filing all my receipts in an app. I’ve also been spending lots of money on planners as I LOVE this time of year with all the 2017 planners in stock. I’m a sucker for a plan!

I’d love to hear about your plans and what you are working on.

Life Values

Looking back at part 2 of Living Your Values, when we looked at three of your top life values, can you see anything resonating?

Week two may have been too early in the process to discover the important values but now you are a few weeks into the process, what theme is standing out for you?


Need More Help?

I have really enjoyed taking you through this basic coaching process over the past few weeks. If you would like some more help to find a peaceful way in a noisy world, please drop me an email.

I’d be very happy to help with some gentle coaching techniques and reflexology or reiki to help you find your way.

If you haven’t already subscribed to ‘Reflections from The Garden Sanctuary’, a monthly email with hints and tips for creating a peaceful and calm life, please follow the link below.


I’ll see you all next Sunday with another ‘Reflections from the Sanctuary’ blog post. Until then, have a great week.

Liz x


Living your Values – part 5

Hi Everyone,

Over the past few weeks of living our values and looking at what matters most to you. Last time we looked at your Wheel of Life as a whole, this week we will drill down into a specific section.

It’s exciting personal development work and well worth spending some time on.

If you aren’t familiar with the Wheel, please click here.

Drilling down to the parts of your life that aren’t working for you can be very challenging as it makes you think about painful times, but it’s where the magic happens when you can see small but incremental changes.

Just One Section

If you have been following my blog, you will have looked at a part of your life that doesn’t work for you at the moment.

Given it a score out of ten.

Ask yourself:

Why have I scored that a four?

I’d like you to clarify what makes it that number (in this case, a four).

An example:

My family section is a four because:

  • My toddler isn’t sleeping, and I’m exhausted
  • My parents live at the other end of the country;  my partner works long hours and no-one is around to help me
  • I am working part-time, and my nursery isn’t very flexible with pick-up hours. I rush back from work and feel very stressed
  • I don’t have any time alone.  I arrive home from work, get my son ready for bed and  then flop on the sofa.

Think of five reasons why you have given yourself that number and you have now clarified the issues that cause you pain. It may feel that you are completely stuck and can’t see a way out with lots of things to change (or things you can’t change) but let’s see what we can do.

Take one issue, such as childcare:

How can we move from a four to a five?

  • Can you look around at different childcare options?
  • Childminder with longer opening hours?
  • Nanny share?
  • Maybe swap childcare with a friend on the odd occasion?

The purpose behind this exercise is for you to think about the options on the table. Most of these won’t work, and you may discount them from the offset, but it’s helpful to start thinking in terms of options rather than being stuck.

Feeling stuck can be very disempowering


So, this week, I would like you to work through a couple of issues in one section of the wheel, giving them a score and looking at your ‘why?’

Next Week

We will complete this short series about living your values with an overall view of what has worked over the past few weeks. This post will take a look at what values are important to you and how you can increase your levels of daily calm.

More Help

In The Garden Sanctuary, I  offer my clients personal coaching sessions and combine it with a calming reflexology or reiki session. My sessions can help you to create peace and calm in your body whilst you work on your mind. This has many beneficial effects and can help with your stress.

My monthly hints and tips newsletter can help motivate you to make changes at your own speed so click here if you would like to join my mailing list.

There are also some Sanctuary special offers for my readers – great if you live in the local Harpenden area.